14 days worth of money.

Whee my first pay cheque came in! Woohoo.
Which means I have $$ to save into my account;
and which means I can go for sheesha with Adibah;
and which means I can afford to go for Ammar's birthday bash at Phuture;
and which means I can buy more frozen yoghurt! This time I'm going for grape flavour ok. No more peach.

Oh ya love you.

$10 Dinner + alot of fun

Eeeeschk.
Steamboat dinner was great, that dumb bull-ass game 55 was even better.
It was the dope.
Hah, with jerks like James,his Indo girl Nezziepoo, funny people like Zhen Lin and Teck Wee, and of course the boy.
And the sharp-ended-chopstick-poke-the-fishball-trick, and forcing all the poked fishballs unto Teck Wee's bowl. All thanks to James for starting it ah. Oh and we wasted like 1 hour plus watching this lame horror movie, 13 Ghosts on HBO. Hmmm. The first time I watched it I was mortified.

And for shit you asked us to bring the Contreau there. But thanks ok! I still owe you $10.

NOTE TO SELF : BUY A BOX BIG ENOUGH FOR 10 CAPSULES.

*Phone rings continuously*

T'was 4:45pm thereabout, everyone was busy drafting bills, documents, redacting evidence, etc. No one had bothered to answer the loathesome phone which was ringing on non-stop, until the office boy with the hearing aid decided to pick up the phone. He answered the phone, tried his best to hold a decent speech with the caller, but it was nevertheless a bit tough.

Estee turns to Fir, and speaks to him in Malay. Estee then turns to me, and says: I was telling him, later confirm kena fucked by Max one. We all not dumb but we refuse to answer the call.

Max walks out. To our desks, yes, where Estee, Fir and I were seated. He fucks us up gently with a smile, and walks away. We look at each other, giving the understood smile, have a little giggle, ad get back to our mundane work.

Yes, that's how we get through the day.

NUMB

Today, the rain poured, it was chilling, and it was freezing in the bus ride home. Goosebumps were popping on my skin; but I was feeling normal, wasn't shivering, wasn't feeling uncomfortable. I felt normal, like room temperature, with the sun shining through the window.

Today, work was mundane; it was aching my back, and it was tedious and tiring. I wasn't complaining; I felt happy, it took me away from distractions. I feel happy doing a job I loathe.

Today, I boarded a bus home, which was filled with the kind of people I hated (no elaboration to protect myself); instead of glancing at them with despise, I decided to sit in the corner of the 4-seat cluster, with 3 of such people surrounding me. I did not feel hate, or smirk, or walk away, I just felt happy I got a seat.

Today, I decided that my heart will not hurt even when it should hurt the most, it will not beat for anything other than life. Today, I became the numb, cold human being I loathed; and I think it might take a long time before I am Vickie again.

23 / 03 / 08

If it sets them free into a land of happier moments;
let them go.


Sometimes, if you're not told everything;
then just wish you are being told the truth in what you have been told.

True love is something that cannot be achieved without suffering.
-Quoted from Amanda's blog. Very true.

Do I make sense?

190308, THE 6TH

Yes, I've officially started working as a Paralegal @ Gateway Law Corporation, and 3 days into my new job, I took 2 days' leave for a very very important date made long ago. The most exciting date ever, I think. What with the preparation of lunch (Nutella and ham sandwhich, and boyfriend cooked some seaweed chicken! Good job boy.), and the bottle of Bailey's, and packing of the bag and blah blah blah.


RAINY DAY PICTURE


THE HUT, TUAS A @ COSTA SANDS


TINY BOY IN THE TINY HUT


HAPPY PEOPLE ON A SUNNY DAY

And so we headed to Sentosa on our getaway. THE STUPID RAIN REFUSED TO GTFO, so we had to shell up inside the 4-bed tiny hut. Really tiny place with tiny lights and tiny shelves, but still very cosy.

Went for night adventures! With the skyride (no luge cause I was in a dress), camwhoring at the fountain-princessy place, walking around under the pretty lights and finally buying food from 7-11, with the crazy China bitch refusing to change our BIG GULP. *slap*

Despite the countless head hits on the bunk beds, smokiing in the room thus causing the overboard smoky smell, and the super noisy and irritating indian bitches who were making too much noise outside our room and who also got so excited cause they were sneaking into clubx, and and the super cold water during bath time, it was still SPANKING AWESOME.THANK YOU.

ILU
Another one to come soon, kay? For Underwater World, hee.

ME: Eh! Let's go Underwaterworld! Damn long never go liao, there can touch the stingray one!

BOYFRIEND: I want to eat the stingray, remind me of Chong Pang, at Winsor's there.

ME: -________________-

Oh oh oh, stop acting cute ah.

IMCONFUSED

I didn't get PWC for my internship, and that sucks. I was hopeful for it ok, if what Mr Ferlin told me was true. I don't wish to be complacent, but I honestly think I missed the mark by a teeny wee bit.

Argh.

We Might As Well Be Strangers - Keane



I don't know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world

We might as well
We might as well
We might as well

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in another time

We might as well
We might as well
We might as well be strangers

For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now

For all I know

This song shall be dedicated and shared with Zhenlin and Teck Wee, and maybe James.
HAHAHAHAHA.

I have a plan.

To prepare all my resumes by this weekend
To prepare all documents and stuff by this weekend
To send them out first thing Monday morning
To probably get another piercing
To not think negatively about funds
To go all out until I'm dead exhausted to get the funds
To not be the fucking dumb fool again.

SHEENA I'M DOING IT

Sheena says:
haiyoh

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Seriously walao.

COPELAND'S LOVE

Because it's one of your favourite bands,
and the song says alot.

PS I LOVE YOU

I should have been warned, that it was going to be teary from beginning to end. Or maybe it's just me, cause KJ seemed cool. Hmm. Hilary Swank is awesome, Gerard Butler is still man, and Kathy Bates was the best. No, Harry Connick Jr was. Amazing show.


I wished I had Kathy Bate's character installed somewhere in my family. Perservering and encouraging, and so, so independent.

A SPECIAL MENTION TO:

Aside from the usual suspects, and in alphabetical order,

EUNICE WONG / MRS WONG
Thank you for always listening to me whine/complain/bawl my eyes out. And thank you for always speaking so fast, sometimes I really do get lost in your words. But still, thanks. I think without you (and Teck Wee - see below), I would have emo-ed until don't know where already.

SHARYL YEO
Thank you for always being the kanchiong nonya 1/2 in Year 3, always pushing and motivating me to work harder. I think it would have been terribly difficult to survive this semester without all your help, especially after the tragedy of IP project and Probate project.I will always look back and remember those days. So NS brotherhood right. I look forward to the day we are joint together as the nonya duo in Sheffield, UK.

SERENA WONG
Even though we weren't ever that close, I must still thank you for all your help and especially welcoming me to your place for food (alot) and games and MAHJONG. Thank you for being one of the 3 shifus who taught me and relived my memory of the game. I shall look forward to more rounds, maybe 7 x 7 = 49 rounds! And you and Sharyl don't so aggressive to each other ah, Sheena and I nervous. Will anyhow PONG one.

LIM TECK WEE
Woah Teck Wee, where do I start. Still remember you as the "cooler" DHL geeks who stayed back in ILaw to play games instead of mugging your balls out. Kuddos. How we met? Through gaming I guess. Thank you for always letting us call you "ugly", it's probably the only way we feel better about ourselves. But maybe it's the truth ah, and the truth hurts. HAHAHAHA. But on a serious note, I must thank you for listening to my stories, and hear me whine and complain and being emo to the lowest point, where the only way for me is to head up. How very true man. It's great to have someone hear me out, especially since you've been through the emo stage as well. Thank you for all your help and advise and guidance, I will defintely remember them for a long time and I hope you'll still stick around for more of my cries for help! And, I will NEVER EVER forget that night on MSN when you plucked up your courage to call me, BFF :)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BFF.

Best Regards
Vickie

OLD SKOOL NOSTALGIC LOVE

After reading the countless "this is my last day/I-have-graduated" posts, I've decided to abide by the "monkey see monkey do" saying, and post this post as bravely as I can.

I enjoyed my three years, was full of emotions, with a capital F and a capital E. All the laughter from the dumb-ass lame jokes, tears from the poorly done projects, and anger from the shitty groupmates. Nevertheless it was a good stint.

So now, I'm leaving this place which I call my haven with..

1. A boyfriend I never thought I would have; if you need to know, I detested him in year 1 because he was so effing black-emo and step cool with the long coloured hair and giant headphone, and never forgetting how I used to tell myself I wouldn't date an Ah Beng

2. A lifelong friend I never thought I would gain; if you need to know she is part Indian (shocking!) part Chinese. I still remember her hating me for being the snobbish bitch and I,the image of her coming into the lecture theatres with a bandaged arm. She was seated diagonally behind me.

3. A close friend I never thought I would get acquainted with; he is too nice to believe such a person actually exists. The first words I said to him was, "Oh, you are that scum." Well, I'm sorry for saying that, you are obviously one of the best out there.

4. Memories with my favourite lecturers, Mr Chng and Mr Ferlin namely, for all their super "slap-in-the-face" jokes, and "get out of the class, you're late" rules, and also just for imparting their wisdom and skills to us. Thank you.

I will always remember iLaw Chambers, LegalLab which was always stuffed with non-law students, the hidden smoking spots, the reservoir, and the lovely little canteens.

THANK YOU TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC.
TEMASEK'S ME, TEMASEK'S YOU... ...

I AM OFFICIALLY FRUSTRATED
FUCKING ANGRY
AND GODDAMNIT DISAPPOINTED.

I AM AN ANGSTY TEEN.

I AM TIRED OF WAITING FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN
I MUST TAKE THINGS INTO MY CONTROL;
TAKE CONTROL OF MY LIFE.

I DON'T KNOW

Exams are finally done and over with
but the happiness is short-lived.
Sure, I was elated, shouting with Sharyl and squealing like little girls.
After that I wasn't too sure.

Everyone headed out for big celebration parties,
I wasn invited, on both nights;
Friday with Teck and James and Saturday with Ammar and gang,
but I just didn't have the mood for anything like that anymore.

What's going on, what's going on?
I just know I'm running out of time,
September or May, and then September again, I don't know.

I don't know what to do from here,
where to go, how to do it.
I have nothing to expect;
nothing to look forward to;
nothing to be happy about.
I don't know anything anymore.

I'm lost.
I'm scared to even talk to some people close to me;
not to say get close to them, ever again.